Scientists find the worlds funniest jokes

Germany's funniest joke

To tell the weather: Go to the back door and look for the dog. If the dog is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it has been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on its back, it's probably snowing.

Of course, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.

Sincerely, the CAT.

NEW ZEALAND'S Funniest Joke

A priest conducts a service in church. "The person who puts the most in the church collection box can choose three hymns," he says. The collection box comes back to him after being filled up, and he finds that someone has donated $1,000. Who has donated a thousand?" he asks. A woman raises her hand. The priest invites her to the front and tells her to choose three hymns. Pointing at the three most handsome men in the church, she says: "I'll have him, him and him."

Belgium's

There are basically three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

The World's funniest joke

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says enthusiastically: "I see millions of stars. And even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent."

Important site

Especially for this time of year

http://www.mobilegalleryunit.blogspot.com/

Andamanese

The Andamanese from my seminar. Fully documentated and analysed. Photo from http://www.raqsmediacollective.net/texts2.html

Visual Anthropology

The Society encourages the use of media, including still photography, film, video and non-camera generated images, in the recording of ethnographic, archaeological and other anthropological genres. Members examine how aspects of culture can be pictorially/visually interpreted and expressed, and how images can be understood as artifacts of culture. Historical photographs, in particular, are seen as a source of ethnographic data, expanding our horizons beyond the reach of memory culture. The society also supports the study of indigenous media and their grounding in personal, social, cultural and ideological contexts, and how anthropological productions can be exhibited and used more effectively in classrooms, museums and television. Text from http://www.societyforvisualanthropology.org/svawelcome.html Images are from http://tribalphoto.com/pages/mission.html

Rabinowitch

Hi all. So, about this idea of an end-of-year masters publication ... well, Kalvin is more than happy to do the design on it which is really great. We just have to raise the funds for the actual publication of it. I have no idea about what was done to raise the money for last years booklet and I am unsure about how to even begin thinking about it. So, perhaps we should all start thinking about it and thinking about what we want to put in it and have a meeting about it on thursday or something? I think it would be really great to have some kind of printed document to give out to people. It seems a shame and a waste not to but I also realize it is late in the year and we are all super busy. Any thoughts????

Performa 07_the art of space presence and time

PERFORMA07
SECOND BIENNIAL OF NEW VISUAL ART PERFORMANCE IN NEW YORK CITY
OCTOBER 27 THROUGH
NOVEMBER 20, 2007
18 Happenings in 6 Parts (Reenactment)
18 Happenings in 6 Parts was first performed in the Fall of 1959, at the Reuben Gallery in New York City. After a few performances, it was never shown again. Today, it is considered one of the major turning points in the history of performance and visual arts. In 2006, a few weeks before his death, Kaprow authorized a re-doing of the piece based on the dozens of original pages of music and movement scores, notes, drawings, writings, and drafts he had created in the summer and fall of 1959. The re-doing was presented on the occasion of a major exhibition of Kaprow's work at Haus der Künst, Munich, in the Fall of 2006.

While remaining faithful to the power of Kaprow’s notes and scores, this re-doing approaches Kaprow’s seminal work as an always moving, always provisional, and always renewed set of dynamic propositions, allowing us to rethink how the acts scored under a title as powerful as 18 Happenings in 6 Parts produce new possibilities for reconsidering performance’s relationship to its past -- and new possibilities for rediscovering the absolute contemporaneity of Kaprow’s work

Radionics

Radionics

(from Wikipedia)

Radionics is a body of ideas and practice concerning medical diagnosis and healing, originating in the early 1900's. It is based on the idea that all life and matter contains vibrations and harmonics which radionics seeks to manipulate: "all drugs that are specific in the treatment of disease have a definite vibration rate."
According to this idea, a healthy person will have certain 'energy frequencies' moving through their body that define health, while an unhealthy person will exhibit other, different 'energy frequencies' that define their health disorders. Radionic devices are purported to diagnose and restore persons to health by applying healing frequencies to balance out the 'discordant' frequencies of sickness. Radionics borrows the word frequency to describe an imputed energy type and differs from usual meanings since it does not correspond to any property of the known forms of energy.

Types of radionic devices
There are two main types of radionic devices. The first is simply an analysis tool, that is said to determine what is wrong with the subject being diagnosed. The second is a treatment tool used to attempt to heal or cure the subject of whatever is thought to ail them. These two may also be combined into a single device.
The typical radionics analysis device has a metal cup referred to as the well, a large collection of knobs numbered 0 to 9 on each dial, and a metal plate referred to as the stick plate. A cable may also be used to attach a sensor plate to the body of the person receiving treatment.
A radionics treatment device has all the base components of the analysis device, plus additional wells to be used to hold the material used to heal the subject. It may also have a power cord that is said to provide a base frequency rate to send the healing rate into the patient.

Diagnostic usage
To operate a typical radionic device, a sample material is placed in the well, such as blood, saliva, or urine. The knobs act as a counter and are used to estimate the frequency at which the sample is thought to be vibrating. The stick plate is operated by the analyst who drags a finger across this plate while adjusting the knobs.
As the knobs are adjusted, there is a point where their finger sticks more firmly to the plate than at any other settings. This is referred to as "getting the stick." This point of greatest sticking is the setting for that knob. The analyst then moves on to adjusting the next knob to the point of greatest stick, and so on, until all knobs have been adjusted. The final readout across all knobs is described as the frequency for the sample material.
This method of operation is highly subjective, since it depends on an analyst experienced with moving their finger across the stick plate and interpreting what the sensations mean.

Magical means of operation
Radionic devices do not accord with the theories of biology or physics. They can be described as magical in operation.
The power of radionics is said to lie in the rates or frequencies it measures and then feeds back to the patient. Although a healing substance can be directly used to feed healing frequencies back into the patient, the substance is not actually needed if its healing frequency rate is known.
For the purpose of assessment and treatment, Radionics sees organs, diseases and remedies as having their own particular frequency or vibration. These factors are expressed in numerical values which are known as "rates" and older radionic instruments are provided with calibrated dials on which such "rates" are set for assessment and treatment purposes.
Internally, a radionic device is very simple, and may not even form a functional electrical circuit. In radionics, the wiring in the analysis device is simply used to conduct the frequencies from the well, across the measurement knobs, and to the stick plate. No actual electrical current flows.
A radionic device does not use or need electric power, though a power cord may be provided so that the power line can provide a "base rate" on which the device operates to attempt to heal a subject. Malcolm Rae developed the use of static magnets in radionics, and devised reference (or 'simulator' cards) to speed up the process of analysis and remove the need for many complex dials and settings. [4]
Typically, little attempt is made to define or describe what, if anything, is flowing along the wires and being measured. This energy could possibly be orgone, odic force or qi, but does not conform to any accepted scientific theories.

A Windy Fire

Here are some images from Te Tuhi. There was some more work indoors but my photos are terrible. Santiago Cal and Tom Nicholson are also showing out there and their work is really great. The show is on for around 2 months. Go see it!

WOOD

Hi there
is anyone is needing to order timber, panneling, trussing etc.? for building walls and constructing stuff - if this is a consideration for you perhaps we could all go in together to split the delivery charge to mount street??? I'm going to order in a couple of weeks from 3 Brothers, a nicely priced place in Penrose, they do seconds, pannels, 4x2 etc - the delivery from them is about 80 dollars...
Erica

The order of things

The front of Linneaus' book of classification
Not sure where I got this from but it is a display of human evolution. Timelines mmmmmm

Creative New Zealand: recurrent funding for 2008

Artists Alliance $130,000
Artspace $320,000
Moving Image Centre $300,000
Objectspace $190,000
The Physics Room Trust $166,720

http://www.creativenz.govt.nz/files/recurrent-funding-2008.pdf

Speaker system lets flowers sing

http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn6183

http://www.lets-direct.jp/fsp/fsp2.htm

Anthropometrics

For your interpretation...

Last night I dreamt I was doing a performance that involved walking around in chunky platform high heel shoes (like those stripper ones with the clear plastic heel) but the heels were made of a cages, and inside each cage was a tiny monkey eating acorns (like a squirrel?)...

I guess I must have made the shoes myself because, typical of my art, the cages started buckling under my weight. I was a little worried about the monkeys getting crushed but I kept walking around...

The cages broke, and the monkeys escaped into my bedroom. I half-heartedly looked for them knowing they were so small I’d never be able to find them. I was thinking maybe it was ok if they just lived with me in my room, until a man from the audience said they made OK pets but they really attracted cockroaches (I’m cockroach-phobic)... slowly it dawned on me that the ‘acorns’ I thought they were eating earlier were actually cockroaches and I woke up immediately and started searching under my bed for the monkeys...

aaargh... a little art-anxious?

MATHEW CROOKES @ dep_art_ment

dep_art_ment presents:MATTHEW CROOKES
SMALL OBJECTS OF DEVOTION
19TH AUGUST - 2ND SEPTEMBER
41 Ponsonby Road Auckl
and with thanks and congratulations to Miss Crabb and Mr Barber!

artwork is automatically protected by copyright law...

Copyright is legal protection for the author of creative/original works, essentially this gives the author exclusive rights to reproduce, sell and broadcast the work. The laws are country specific, but many countries are signatory to The Berne Convention which gives reciprocal protection to other countries copyright works. This protection is normally automatic, no action or bureaucratic process is required by the author in order to 'copyright' the work.

What is Copyright Protection?
Copyright is a form of protection provided by law for authors of creative/orginal works. This can essentially cover any product of an individual/organisations skills, labour or judgement provided that it is both original and fixed in a material form. These laws and definitions may vary from country to country and this article is mainly concerned with UK/US laws in the context of visual artwork and images.

What is Protected
As mentioned above, essentially any original work that has been fixed in material form is protected.

What does copyright protect against
Copyright gives the author exclusive rights to the following:
To reproduce copies of the work.
To prepare derivative works based upon the work.
To distribute copies of the work to the public by sale or other transfer of ownership, or by rental, lease, or lending
To display the work publicly, in the case of literary, musical, dramatic, and choreographic works, pantomimes, and pictorial, graphic, or sculptural works, including the individual images of a motion picture or other audiovisual work
To perform the work publicly, in the case of literary, musical, dramatic, and choreographic works, pantomimes, and motion pictures and other audiovisual works
In the case of sound recordings, to perform the work publicly by means of a digital audio transmission.
In other words, no other party can do any of the above without explicit permission from the author.

Eye see

Trust Waikato National Contemporary Art Award 2007

Any selection process for an award is not only informed by the quality, quantity and characteristics of the submitted works, but also by the judge’s taste, interest and cultural and professional background. By going through the submitted works for this year’s Trust Waikato National Contemporary Art Award, I was struck by those works, which addressed in a blunt or sophisticated manner, issues commonly referred to as “the human condition”. Whether in a direct or subtle, poetic or formally ascetic way, the works seem to probe at the fragility of our existence, our longing, our desire for contact, our questions about our position in this world, feelings of loss and sorrow, uncertainties regarding our identity and our attachment to the magic of this world.
We look into outer space and look inside of us; we are mesmerized by the grace of an everyday object, and search for answers with our head in the clouds. Death is in the midst of us as we are surrounded by beauty. Exhibition Catalogue
Dr Leonhard Emmerling 2007 TWNCAA JudgeGallery Director St Paul Street Gallery

A nice bunch of ears

A lovely lot of ears to peruse at you leisure

Jeremy-continued

Jeremy

Here is Jeremy Dellar at his work in Munster at the sculpture fair. These are some young german boys that were selling key rings and my friend Sanne in the centre. The work was situated in some community gardens not far from the city centre.

ZORSE

giant rabbit in russia

sculpture projects muenster 07 - Isa Genzken

sculpture projects muenster 07 - Susan Philipsz & Guillaume Bijl

sculpture projects muenster 07 - Mike Kelly - Petting Zoo

Ilya Kabakov sculpture project muenster 97

sculpture projects muenster 07 - Tue Greenfort - diffuse entries

sculpture projects muenster 07 - Dominique Gonzalez-Foerster

???? 100 arms sculpture project muenster 1997

eve armstrong sculpture project muenster 2007